By: Chris “The Stew” Stewart
Stew Man here coming at you live from paradise city (Baltimore). Ok so I come home from the gym this morning and my wife woke up early to catch up her newest addiction, Khloe and Kourtney Go To Miami or something like that. 
My wife has DVR’d about 15 days worth of the most painfully dumb and idiotic reality TV show ever known to mankind. I can’t get over how horrible this crap is and what I can’t understand is why chicks dig this junk. I’d rather hang out with the Jonas Brothers at a Hanson concert than watch some of this stuff. For those of you who are lucky enough not to cohabitate with your significant other or don’t have TV, allow me to fill you in on some of the crap out there. (Note…I am heavily focusing on the E! channel because it takes up about 88% of our DVR)
The Real Housewives of _________
This is the worst show in the history of television. I don’t want to kill the creator of this show, I want to kill the asshole he pitched it to who gave it the green light. That guy is a real dick. This show is about 4-10 bitchy rich women who know nothing about reality and love to create drama. They lie, cheat, steal, whore-out and basically ruin my life. I never watch this show but any time my wife gets together with another girl and they talk about it, I want to cut my ears off and staple them to the wall. “Can you believe what Sue did last night? I can’t believe she said that to random girl x!” Who cares? Really who cares? These people are losers with coin. I am way sweeter and more entertaining than these B’s.
Khloe and Kourtney Go To Miami
Ok so these girls are Kardashians. Raise your hands if you care about the Kardashians. That’s what I thought. Not one dude raised his hand because they are only famous because their dad kept the Juice out of jail. Sweet call Mr. Kardashian, OJ turned out to be a bastion of class. He didn’t arm up and bust into some dude’s pad in Vegas to steal trophies or anything. These girls just slut around, blast coke and talk about how awful they are. You are right girls, you are awful.
Talk Soup
This show is hysterical. The only island to cling to in a sea horrible programming.
Kendra
Kendra is the dumbest person in the world. Does she have a sweet rack? Yes. Does she have any other redeeming qualities? No. She is quite possibly the dumbest and most annoying chick in the history of TV. This chick makes Jessica Simpson look like Good Will Hunting. This is why dudes buy Playboy magazine, but don’t watch Playboy models on TV: magazines don’t talk and ruin everything. They just nude up and entice you to fondle your goods. You had it right the first time Heff…keep them silent.
Denise Richards….It’s Complicated
Of course it’s complicated Denise. You used to be married to Charlie Sheen. How do you go from a sweet dude like that to anything else? Good luck. Charlie Sheen bangs out with all of Hollywood like every 15 minutes. Denise Richards owns a pig. Charlie Sheen has a sweet brother named Emilio Estevez. Denise Richards has a boring show on E! Charlie Wins.
Well I hope that you dudes out there can feel my pain.
Comments